Rona Rawls
Regularly commenting on other people’s songs will, over time, really improve your own song writing as well as helping the songwriter of that song and the Songwriting Community as a whole.
Today’s Song for Songwriting critique is
–> “From My Heart” by Rona Rawls
Click above ^ to Listen and then leave your comment below. N.B. You can now comment with your Facebook login.
RR
Great song! Great arrangement, well done. Great job.
I *love* your voice, but I want to hear it! It’s completely drowned out in the mix. The beat/clap that is happening in the back is pretty generic, and a little distracting. I think you should change up the drum track… make it more interesting. Vocally you have great build up to the chorus… but musically I don’t hear it as much. Add some more dynamic to the track and I think it will enhance the lovely vocals. Also, consider introducing a ‘B’ melody into the track… I think that right now the music is actually taking away from your voice, rather than enhancing.
With a few relatively minor tweaks to the track, and if you bring out your vocals more, I think this couls be a phenominal track!
Great work!
Danie
http://www.twitter.com/letter2self
First, your mix drowns out your voice and your voice is lovely, so you need that riding on top of the music.
Personally, the music is very generic and electronic and could easily and probably should be scaled back.
When you have a compelling voice, let i expand and fill the space..
Otherwise, I think the chorus could be more powerful if there were more harmonizing.
Still, a lovely voice.. and it will sound fantastic in the right mix.
It’s nice to be back folks!
-JLN
http://www.theheartsleeves.bandcamp.com
http://www.twitter.com/theheartsleeves
Couldn’t make out the lyrics at all but they seem superfluous. I found the vocal instrumentation sufficiently compelling to listen to the whole tune. The song doesn’t follow the usual rules of song structure so I didn’t really hear the title anywhere —lovely vocals, nice groove.
Enjoyed the melody throughout though a bit atmospheric going into the chorus without a distinct enough change in the sychopation for this style of song, perhaps.
Personally, I wasn’t fond of intro piano fill repeating throughout without any relevance to the melody. Great as an intro, perhaps, but against the alto voicings and repeating throughout, it seemed to take away a bit from the melody. Play it in the intro stop after 8 bars, bring it back in on the chorus.
Love the voice! Very sensual and sincere. Would love to also hear the background voicing the fill lines a little stronger in certain spots, almost in an a capella style, maybe even 2 bars in the intro before the lead melody comes in would really sound cool… and take the background voiced line two more measures at the end before the button chord.
Great song! Hypnotic and trancy but stays in a good r&B style.